


Shall I Compare Thee To A Summers Day?

by WhenIFindLoveAgain



Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [28]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: British Comedy, Classical References, Classics, Comedy, Comedy RPF, Fanfiction Comedy (MICF), Funny, Happy, Happy Ending, M/M, Poetry, References to Shakespeare, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:34:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26421991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIFindLoveAgain/pseuds/WhenIFindLoveAgain
Summary: While SEVENTEEN takes a long weekend break at the Jeon's home up in the mountains, Soonyoung thinks this is the perfect time to romance Jihoon; however, his plan is to quote pieces of classical literature under impression because it all sounds better in Chris Eubank's voice.What could possibly stuff up?
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [28]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678627
Kudos: 3





	Shall I Compare Thee To A Summers Day?

**Author's Note:**

> For those who don't know, I should add, Chris Eubank is a famous British boxer, and, the title comes from Sonnet 18 by William Shakespeare, published in 1609 though most likely written much earlier

"No, Hoshi, love, don't do it, for fuck's sake." Was Vernon's attempt at trying to get Soonyoung to not go ahead for the opener of him asking Jihoon out on a date. They were - the whole band - staying at Wonwoo's Mum and Dad's apple orchard property up in the Gyreonsang mountains for the long-weekend-long national holiday - bank holiday then the horse-racing - a couple of days of rest, relaxation, apples, and, more importantly, oppotunity.   
"Love?" Soonyoung echoed. Vernon only usually said "love" when he was drunk, tired, anxious, sorry, at home with other Anglo folk, or, talking to his sister, Mother, or sometimes Seungkwan and Seungkwan's sometimes distinctly feminine behaviour made it slip out of Vernon's mouth by accident.

"Yeah, you really aren't that great at your impressions, hyung, are you?" Wonwoo also gave advice. Jihoon had a tough battle everyday trying not to smack Soonyoung about the head; however, this would send him over the edge. Soonyoung had decided to read classical bits of literature to Jihoon in - wait, no, hear it out - Christopher Eurbank's voice.

Yeah, see the issue?

Wonwoo prayed and Vernon planned how many bottles of grog they'd need for when Soonyoung was teary-eyed and covered in blood with his nose pointing towards his left ear.

Soonyoung went out into the courtyard garden on the east-side of Wonwoo's parents big old early 1910's built stone home with it's tall vaulted ceilings, tradition curved-tip roof, and, exposed beams inside that all of them had wondered how they were kept clean; Wonwoo's Mum had explained that they weren't. The beams were lucky to get a sweep down once every sixty years but often in the warm weather they opened every window in the house and hoped any dust and conjuring mould got blown out then. Wonwoo's Mum had done a nice job of the garden, roses, daffodils, delphiniums, jonquils, snow-drops, blue-bells - a whole English garden - planted in a pretty design. It was obvious it was a intensely labourious garden, but, the ageing woman never seemed to mind.

Soonyoung took a seat beside Jihoon on the white-stone love seat, warm in the morning sunshine, and, Jihoon regarded him. They talked for a few minutes, and, above them on the second and third floors of Wonwoo's parents house, the rest of the SEVENTEEN members stuck their heads out of the windows, utterly agog, with their phones at the ready, filming only what could be described as helplessly disasterous bid of romance.

Soonyoung had given Jihoon a slight inclination before hand, saying how he himself thought works of classic literature sounded better in Eurbank's voice. Now, the matter of propositional behaviour came in. "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" Soonyoung remarked to Jihoon seductively.

Everyone above half hanging out of the windows nearly pissed themselves laughing.

"That is the worst impression in the world!" Junhui shouted out to Soonyoung, Minghao half climbing onto his back to peer over his shoulder, dark-red tinted Lennon glasses pushed down his nose to clearly see the action.

"You sound like one of the compare the market insurance meerkats!" Seokmin backed Junhui up.

"And one of the twats out of danger mouse!" Mingyu added before giving a brilliant impersonation of one of the rodent characters, whose actual vocieover sounded like Soonyoung's shithouse impression of Christopher Eurbank's voice.

"Oh, shut up, you tart." Jihoon regarded him coolly as Soonyoung went to open his mouth again.

"Righty-o." Soonyoung retreated back to safe havens, using his own, ordinairy voice.

"Yes, indeed." Jihoon nodded firmly.

Soonyoung looked down to the ground for a few moments. He felt like his insides had been run over. "Love you." He whispered sincerely to Jihoon.

"Fuck off." Jihoon remarked bluntly.

Soonyoung sighed, feeling really sadder and sadder as the moments went by. Maybe Vernon and Wonwoo really had been right. Soonyoung went to get up from the love seat and go through the Jeon's grog cabinet when Jihoon spoke to him again, fingertips catching the edge of the sleeve of Soonyoung's shirt.

"Oh, come here, give us a kiss." Jihoon said. Soonyoung jaw dropped open. Fuck, that was a turn-up for the books. Soonyoung was still thinking of the chances of that when Jihoon shifted in closer to the steadily catatonic Soonyoung and brought him back around with a decent kiss, nothing to be mucked away, one of her hands curving around the back of Soonyoung's head.

"Wha-hey, mumma-fuckers!" The rest of their band cheered from the windows up above.

"Hey, soonyoungie, say mama-fuckers in Eurbank language!" Jeonghan requested, cupping one of his hands around his mouth as he called out.

Soonyoung beamed. "Mama-fucker!" He told them all with a glorious confidence. Jihoon burst out laughing. Soonyoung stared agog at him. Fuck, had someone given him kindness pills today? Nice mood pills on top of that along with a splash o the extract of normal human behaviour?

"Yes." Jihoon eventually said, gazing at him. "If you do your shit impression of Chris Eurbank then you can compare me to a summer's day." Jihoon cited the Jane Austen quote.

"Really?" Soonyoung asked.

"If the poor man was here right now he'd be offended, but, it's funny for the rest of us." Jihoon nodded.

"Oh, okay...can I have another one?" Soonyoung's mind dived into the pool of great snogging oppotunities.

"Absolutely not." Jihoon frowned. Soonyoung deflated. Right, normal misery-arse Jihoon was back.

"Ok." Soonyoung said.

Jihoon promptly gave Soonyoung another one exactly like before.

"What's the time?" Jihoon asked him, his left shoulder leaning into Soonyoung's right.

"I'm rather afraid I've lost track of time myself." Soonyoung slipped back into Eurbank's voice, and, both he and Jihoon started. They thought the other guys had fucked off by now, but, no, they were still there, having just let go another chorused shout of "Wha-hey, man!"

"Fuck off." Jihoon told them stoutly.

"Oh, Hoonie-ah, don't you want us here?" Seungkwan teased.

"No, bugger off." Jihoon answered.

"Do it!" Jeonghan called down to Soonyoung.

"Fuck off!" Soonyoung went once more as Eurbank. The others wolf-whistled and clapped.

"You shall now be known as Eurbank instead of Hoshi." Seungcheol decided with all the grace of the gay and baldo Pope delivering a sermon upon his millions of Roman Iatola-Arsehola Catholic followers.

Jihoon and Soonyoung looked at each other before looking up at Seungcheol. "Fair enough." They responded.


End file.
